The truth about how letting go is actually the only way to find happiness!

What does it REALLY mean to let go? Or more pertinently perhaps, what does it mean to not be able to let go? The stress & anxiety placed on us just compounds and in today’s world, do we not have enough of that already?

A really obvious truth

Discovering the obvious

I stumbled across an obvious truth during a recent mindfulness exercise. The realisation was so impactful, that it felt like I was hit by the “stupid stick”. It was so obvious that I can’t understand how I didn’t realise it before? Maybe I did, but just not consciously!? That is a problem that a lot of us may be experiencing in our lives in that we cannot see the forest for the trees. We are continuously being bombarded by stimuli from all directions that we cannot separate the details. We “know” so much because we HAVE ALL THE RESOURCES at hand, but in truth we know very little, because we have all the resources at hand! Paradoxical.

Which door is happiness behind?

One door needs to close for another to open

Have you ever been told to “just let it go”? A lot easier said than done in most cases, isn’t it? However, it is more valuable advice than what it may initially seem to be. Letting go IS a necessity to allow our GROWTH & EVOLUTION.

The one thing that we are all searching for is happiness and we look to many different sources to try and find it. Love, wealth, family, shiny things, power… As soon as we attain our perceived happiness through an achieved goal or an object that has been purchased, we believe to have found it, only to realise a short time later that this feeling is temporary, and we have an urge to find more. Find something else that makes us happy.

But how?? Try this…

Getting back to my revelation: how to let go and more importantly, why letting go is so vital!

Firstly, let us look at an action that we all do every single day. We actually do it every single moment of every single day and we do it without even thinking about it. Breathing.

Take a long deep breath…

Sit back for a second and take a deep breath. I mean REALLY take a deep breath in… and HOLD it. Hold it for as long as you can. What does it feel like? Does the feeling change or develop at all? I bet it does. Initially it feels good, right? All that fresh clean air filling your lungs, getting oxygen to your vital organs and all your extremities… you feel ALIVE! But, in a few moments you start feeling desperate. Your heart starts to beat faster and there is a feeling of anxiety that starts creeping in. Pretty soon, you will not be able to hold it for any longer and the thought of having to do so causes panic. You just HAVE to LET IT GO!

Breathing is life-sustaining, but it is a process, not a singular action of only taking. You receive the air, cherish the effects of it and the benefits it has for you for the moment that you need it and then release it. Only when you release it can you even consider taking in more (if this was a conscious process). What does this mean? Well, it means in order to move forward (or even live), you need to accept and release things all of the time.

Letting go is life sustaining and creates opportunities that can lead to happiness & freedom. Every time we let go, we open ourselves to a new moment that can present an opportunity for growth.

Not letting go, at best, will create fear, anxiety and pain and at worst, death! YOU WILL literally DIE if you do not let go of your breath so that you can take in new, clean fresh air!

I suppose the more challenging part of this process is in the “how” and not necessarily the “why”. How do you just let it go?

Control! Why do we crave it?

Most of us try to control every area of our lives. We try to control our family, ourselves, even the weather and the world around us and the feeling of not being able to makes us think that we will get hurt or be vulnerable. And just like letting go is a habit, so is holding on. The bad habit of clinging to anger, regret & opinions is often a lot easier than to let them fall away. What you need to be asking yourself is whether holding on to these is useful, or do they ultimately only hurt you?

The art of letting go must be like breathing

Be as conscious about breathing as you are about letting go

You need to practice the art of letting go so that it becomes a habit and even second nature, like breathing. Let go of what you are not (or do not want to be) and what doesn’t serve you. In doing so, you will find a lot more inner peace and immediate happiness instead of continuously searching for it from external sources. Start small, like being able to forgive someone that was maybe a little late to meet you. Is it really so serious that you need to bare a grudge? Perhaps there was a really good explanation for it which made it totally unavoidable!? Then work towards bigger indiscretions that may have seemed unforgivable before. The more you do it, the easier it will become, and the outcome will more than likely be more beneficial to you than to the person whom you are forgiving. Giving the unwanted situation power will only prolong the agony for you.

Acceptance that change is inevitable will give you the power & freedom

Being able to accept that change is inevitable will only give YOU the power instead of the uncertainty, that something forcing you out of your comfort zone, will have detrimental & terrible results. Acceptance gives you the freedom of choice and more ability to choose how you react to any given situation, thereby actually giving you more power to direct where you and your life will go. The physiological reaction our bodies have to fear, anxiety and nervousness is the same that it has to excitement! The only difference is how you perceive it. Telling yourself that you are excited, rather than nervous, will give the unknown situation a positive connotation rather than a negative one and will thus allow you to approach it with confidence and control, rather than having it control you. Excitement is also energising and will give you the willpower to push on, rather than the negativity that will drain you and just drag you along.

The only thing that you can really control is how you react and ultimately, this will determine the outcome as well as your feelings & emotions towards it.

Excitement provides you with more energy & power

So, choose your own reality by embracing freedom and find your happiness by letting go.

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